Raptor Girls 005

Days Laters, Once moon or candle or, whatever… headed back to her mothers house to cry for help from her mother kelly a heartfelt conversation with action took place

“I’m sorry pook” kelly said “I know you don’t it when we do this to you, but Zoe has really put me in a bind, there’s no other solution than to take you in to the insane asylum again, make sure you and Dakota hold hands, mommy is here”

Well if it isn’t our favorite little blonde patron Candle!, welcome back to the Lansing insane Asylum for the ill repute, we’ve got your special red straight jacket all warmed up just for you Candle.

The police officer dangle was arrived as soon as possible, “Candle, you mother has informed me of your altercation, now candle its really important that you tell me as much as you possibly can in the next 15 minutes” 

“Now I’m going to ask you a very important question candle, were you hurt by a man or a woman?”

“A MAN HES A MAN shouted Kelly, A MEXICAN MAN HURT MY DAUGHTER… or… Whatever…”

Well here’s the problem, you were in a fight with a man, see here, your gender marker on your license says female, men are clearly stronger than females as they a built for hunting and fishing, you were bound to get hurt by such a hateful brown man

Dakota interjected “He plugs his input into the output and his output into his input, astutely, a man like that cannot be trusted as there is a dip in his prefrontal cortex, and he doesn’t even own an automatic screwdriver, he will never be a bread winner for a woman like candle, not like I am!”

“And all of her pills were mixed together at the bottom of her pink little backpack that he bought for her, never in all my life have I seen such a sick display of hatred in my entire life, the man just doesn’t like women and needs to be held in contempt at the highest of courts”

Now every one settle down, we’re from Michigan. Now, Candle said Dangle the police man, you have an awful lot of bruising here around the neck area, now you can tell me, what kind of madman we are dealing with here?

Clip clop clip clop went Candel

Candle muttered I… Don’t…. Uhhhhh…

“Whoa, slow down, no need to exert yourself any further than a delicate girl like you needs to, especially the day of the attack.”

Jojo Siwa Barrled through the doors “ I came as soon as I heard or whatever, that Zoe tried to tell me there’s a difference between cool people and people who are not racist, can you believe that?”

There’s no way this person can be from Michigan,

It says right here on his license, Michigan, Male. Brown.

Then that’s all in information we need to know

He looks like a Mexican

Ill put that in the report, Mexican Murderer Male Michigan

It says here he has had previous convictions over possession of Marijuana, do you think that was a motive for attempting to murder a white woman?

There’s no doubt it my mind, Mexicans just can’t control themselves, why do you think the taxpayers budget went down to pay for portions of the wall, we’re from Michigan, we’re a boarder state, of course we need to keep the Mexicans out Canada, they just can’t control their urges, and once they smoke that stuff they become unhinged and unpredictable!

“Just book the man already” yelled Dakota as he slammed his fists on the table, “I’ll go down to the precinct right now and do it myself!

“Now just hold your horses Dakota, the teachers union doesn’t have the same amount of pull down there as they used to, damn restrictions.”

Just then an angry amount of bees swarmed in and a giant Bert of meat appeared in front of everyone and out pops David Lynch

Heheh OOOOOHH said David what’s going on here? 

Meatbert says reeeee reeee reeee reee reeeee reeeeeee, I’ve got a spooooon!

Oh what a Christmas Michigan miracle said Dakota can you make me into a stoney boney? Please meatbert? Cried Dakota.

It is of a Christmas time said meatbert 

Meatbert swung his spoon valiantly, and whapped Dakota in the head

Bop bop said David

I’m falling into the sky said Dakota meatbert save me!

Just meatbert began to cook a piping hot pan of hard boiled eggs with his spoon

Splat splat splat splat went meatbert

Up there he goes said David, a stoney boney has a coney throwney

I hope there is a Christmas time said Kelly or whatever

The earth is flat said Candela 

It’s a Christmas time said officer dangle

My lungs are burning said coney boney

Reee reee said meatbert

Hard boiled eggs, oh boy, don’t mind if I do said David

In walks gretchin whitmer

Oh hey big Gretch says Kelly you arrived just in time, we were worried about keeping Michigan pure.

Oh no don’t worry about that said Gretchen, it works.

What works? Said jojo

Michigan, it works smiled Gretchen

And everyone had a merry Christmas!

THE END

Bop bop smiled Meatbert as the raptor girls opened the portal.